The U. of Iew

So- on Saturday, June 6th, I turned 26 years old. It’s funny, there are times when I actually expect to feel different after a birthday. Instead, I tend to forget that anything has happened. As I filled out some surveys and other paperwork over the weekend, I had to keep correcting myself when it came to my age. Oh yeah! I’m 26 now! Not 25.

…26 and still lost. I guess I don’t mind being a “lost boy”, in many ways. Still, there are other aspects of my life that leave me shaking my head in disappointment.

I need to do more. I’ve accomplished a lot, that’s true, but I still have more to do. I really need to buckle down and work on my writing. I can’t be a writer if I don’t write, now can I? If writer’s block rears its ugly head, then I need to come up with a better way to fight back.

There’s also the issue of school. I love to learn. I’d get a degree in just about every subject, if I could- just to say that I did. I don’t expect that a piece of paper will magically transform my life or provide me with any clear direction for the future. Still, it would be nice to have the knowledge gained from the experience. What to study, though? Where to go? I’m very interested in the subject of law, but I don’t think I’m interested in being a judge or a lawyer. I love art and writing, but who needs a piece of paper in order to do that? Philosophy is grand, but again- what exactly would I do with that knowledge? Put it into my writing and my everyday life, no doubt… I just feel that it would be going to waste at my current place in life.

I really don’t like my job. I know that I’m lucky to have it. There are so many people out there right now who would probably give anything for a steady paycheck. I just received one of the highest yearly raises in my department. The manager informed me that I’m an asset to their department and that the higher-ups all think very highly of me. Which is all flattering, and I’m completely grateful to have a steady income- don’t get me wrong- but the thought of spending my life at that place is very disheartening.

In order to escape, I need to become an even better person. In order to become an even better person, I need to find more time for “me.”

Sometimes, this whole cycle is incredibly frustrating.

On the bright side, I did have an awesome birthday cake:

(”Go Diego, Go”… this is what happens when a 5-year-old helps you decide which cake is best for you. Very awesome, I must say.)