The U. of Iew

Every now and then, you’re fortunate enough to meet someone you really connect with. A friend, a lover, a partner- the connection takes many forms. Sure, you make a lot of friends and acquaintances throughout your life, but these connections are different. This is unconditional love, the ability to see right through someone and love them exactly as they are. My BFF is a great example. I learned so much just from being in her company. Even now, I put more work into keeping in touch with her than anyone else.

Where am I going with this…

During a dark time in my life, I met someone amazing. Someone who helped me learn more about myself… the type of person that I want to be… the goals that I want to achieve. I’m incredibly grateful for this connection.

Thank you for being here for me. Thank you for pushing me to excel when I just wanted to lay in bed and hide from the world. Thank you for your sense of humor, for reminding me how to smile. Thank you for the little glimpses I’m allowed into your thoughts, feelings, and memories. Thank you for reminding me that I am worthwhile, that I do have a place here, that I’m loved and wanted.

Simply put… thank you for existing. I am so happy, fortunate, and humbled to be a part of your life.

We all make stupid mistakes with money. Unfortunately, that’s an unavoidable part of life. In my own experience, I made the most mistakes in my last relationship. Not enough money in our account to cover rent? Let me charge it! Can’t afford to do something that my partner really wants to do? Let me charge it! We need a vacation? I’ll charge it! Yes, I knew that I was wrong. That tiny voice in the back of my mind had a temper tantrum each time I agreed to do something that was going to come back to bite me later on. The problem with relationships is that we’re more compelled to think with our hearts instead of our minds. As such, I made stupid decisions based on my emotions. The biggest mistake that I made was to co-sign for my partner’s car. Granted, we got a great deal on the vehicle. Yes, the loan paperwork wasn’t processed correctly by the car dealership, which resulted in me becoming the primary owner of the vehicle. Not my fault, but it was certainly my fault for ever signing on that dotted line. Thanks to the dealership’s mistake, I had an extra $2,000.00 of debt tacked onto my name; instead of being a co-signer, responsible for payment only if my partner neglected to pay her bill, I assumed the full financial burden of the car.

Smart move, eh?

It didn’t get too complicated until we split up. Our agreement was that she would pay the car on time each month. The minimum payment is only $100.00/month- not too difficult to manage. Unfortunately, she has consistently made late payments on the car. Yes, there is a 10 day grace period for the loan. Meaning, we will not be assessed a late payment fee as long as the payment is made before the end of the grace period. However, the bank still reports my late payments to the credit bureaus. As a result, my credit score goes down, interest rates go up, etc.

When I confronted my partner about her failure to hold up her end of our agreement, all she could do was have a temper tantrum and start hurling insults. I was “whining”, I was being a “bitch”, and so on. Now, if the shoe was on the other foot, you can bet that she’d be terribly upset by my behavior.

I’m telling this story because I wanted to offer a prime example of a financial mistake on my part. Contrary to my ex’s beliefs, whining doesn’t solve anything. So how have I been digging myself out of this financial mess?

Overtime. Lots of overtime, whenever it’s been offered. With our peak season coming up, I’ll be able to put even more money in the bank. Some of the money is going to be used for a Mardi Gras trip this February. The bulk of it will be placed it in my savings account and put towards my debt.

I’ve also cut back on my spending. I spend less than $100.00 on groceries each week. That includes dining out, purchasing toiletries and pet supplies, etc. By spending less on frivolous things and cutting corners wherever possible, I’m able to put more money in my savings account and pay off my debt much faster.

Selling some items that I no longer use has also provided me with some extra income. Books, movies, games, electronics- anything that hasn’t been used in a considerable amount of time has been sold. I’d like to get a part-time job but that’s not feasible at this time. So I have to settle for earning money in my spare time, usually by writing or helping out with random events.

I’m sure that I’m forgetting some things. That’s always the way… Regardless, I’m happy with everything that I’ve accomplished. It’s taken a lot of hard work and some quick thinking on my part, but I’m that much closer to meeting my financial goals as a result. So it’s all been worth it. I’m also fortunate to have some great friends; they’ve been an invaluable support system these past few months. One of them will probably have to serve as an alarm clock when I work Saturday overtime during peak season. What can I say? I’m definitely not a morning person.

On that note, I need to pack a few Ebay auction items for shipping. I sold an old, broken cellular phone for $41.00. Yes, there is a market for broken cellular phones. That makes sense, I suppose; they’re always good for spare parts if nothing else.

Carpe diem, y’all.

We had our first real snowfall on Saturday. Seems to be coming a bit late this year. Skippyjon, almost 7 months old now, saw snow for the first time. Needless to say, he wasn’t impressed; when he saw that white stuff falling from the sky he just stopped in his tracks and stared. When he discovered that the white stuff was COLD and WET he wanted nothing more than to go right back inside.

That said, he’s not a fan of stepping on the snow right now. So he’s had some trouble finding suitable places to do his business. I’m thinking I’ll need to clear off a small spot of grass for him, or invest in some cheap fake grass plot to set up on my “porch.” Hopefully this doesn’t mean that he’s going to have a lot of accidents this winter. He’s been really good with the whole housebreaking thing so far. I’ve got some puppy pads at hand, just in case…

Can’t say that I blame him, really. It went from being mild fall weather to extremely cold winter weather overnight. Such is life in Utah… Sadly, this will be the end of our dog park adventures until the Spring.

About a year ago, I found myself in need of a snack while I was slaving away at work. I decided to buy some run-of-the-mill sweet and sour candy- a generic “Sour Patch Kids”, so to speak. As I sat in the break room, I took a closer look at the candy bag out of sheer boredom. To my surprise, this candy was anything but “generic”. In fact, one could consider its origins to be somewhat dubious in nature…

Just another mysterious find at the office…

Life is a series of new beginnings, it would seem. Just when you’ve become comfortable, things have to be shaken up quite a bit. It’s been a sobering experience, to say the least, but I’ve come out of it a much stronger person.

Alright, alright, I’ll quit being so cryptic. In July, I left my partner of almost three years. Trying to fix that relationship was like beating a dead horse. Her family was extremely abusive and rude to me; they had no respect for our relationship or parenting views and wasted no time in making that known. Her mother, in particular, was terrible to deal with.

Awful in-laws: nothing new, right? I could have handled them, but unfortunately they weren’t the only problem. A “partner” should be an equal- not a maid, a financial advisor, a nanny, an errand boy, etc. I was forced to be all of that and so much more. The surprising thing is that I was with an older person; you would expect her maturity level to be greater, her sense of responsibility and work ethic to be greater than or on par with my own. Nope. I was used, taken advantage of, and I allowed it to happen for far too long. Since she was not willing to listen to me when I tried to speak with her, I had to end it quickly and swiftly.

I don’t believe in regrets, so I can’t say that I wasted three years of my life in that relationship. I learned a lot and I’ll carry that with me as I move forward. I just hate that certain things- such as her car being in my name- continue to cause grief months after the split. I’m hoping that these issues can be resolved sooner rather than later. One step at a time, right?

At least I’ve been doing much better. I miss my little girl, and I miss having a family, but when I stop and think about it- what kind of family leaves you feeling miserable each and every day? The only victim in this whole situation was our daughter. I wish that I could be there for her, but her mother and grandparents have made that impossible for now.

Still, I’m becoming a better person. Healthier, and happier for sure- I’ve had so many people stop and tell me that I seem much happier ever since the split. That’s good to know; at least it’s not all in my head, right? I’m doing better and that sense of inner peace and accomplishment is visible to the rest of the world.

I noticed something, too- I pretty much stopped writing when I was with her. I was too tired and depressed to focus on the activity I love the most. Lately I’ve been writing so much more. It’s really refreshing. That said, I want to put more attention into this blog. I don’t know what I was thinking, originally, but I’m just going to let go and have fun with this thing.