The U. of Iew

We survived our trip.

More to follow…

At some point in my life, I decided that it would be awesome to see how many states I could drive my car through. Funny thing is, this road trip will only add one more state to my list of conquests. Oh well- every state counts.

Four of us have decided to drive from Salt Lake City, UT to my hometown of New Orleans, LA. It’s time for MARDI GRAS! Since the Saints won the Superbowl, it’s going to be even crazier this year. My goal is to see as many of my friends as possible. At least when I leave the city this time, it will be on my own terms… not because of some stupid hurricane.

I’m bringing my laptop, since the friend we’re staying with has wireless internet at his place, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to update from the road. Still, I’m going to post pictures upon our return.

Sounds like an adventure to me…

…But only for a little while.

Awhile back, I blogged about my ex’s car literally blowing up on the side of the interstate. I co-signed for her to buy a replacement vehicle- a blue 2001 Ford Focus LX. I know- big mistake, right? It gets better. Somehow, the car loan was attached to my bank account, and I was listed as the primary owner of the vehicle. Which makes no sense, because why would someone with poor credit co-sign for me to get a car loan? So, essentially, my ex wound up having to pay “me” (the loan on my account) each month for the car. It was one of many things that I did for her, because I loved her and wanted her to have the best.

At the time, I really trusted her and felt that she would live up to her word to repay the “loans” I had given her- rent money, medical bills, money towards her independent jewelry business, etc. That was my mistake, and I saw how cheap her word is once we broke up. I’ll probably blog about the financial fallout of our relationship at some point, just because I think it’s interesting to see how we can dig ourselves into a deep hole in the name of love. So I won’t go into too many details here. I’ll just say that the most frustrating part of the situation was my ex’s failure to make the car payments on time. My bank gave us a 10 day grace period before a late payment fee was applied to the outstanding balance. What my ex (and her mother, apparently) failed to understand is that the late payments were still reported to the major credit bureaus and that it had a negative impact on my credit score. I was hurt and confused, because I couldn’t understand why she would do such an immature thing.

This morning, I woke up to a nice surprise. My ex’s parents had returned the car to my parents. I know, I know- my ex is not mature enough to handle her own affairs, though. So her parents take care of everything for her. They also brought a signed letter from my ex stating that she was releasing all ownership of the vehicle. Needless to say, I almost cried when I heard the news- this was wonderful.

I went over the car, cleaned it out, and checked the engine. Aside from one little problem that I can easily fix, the car is in great shape. It was filthy, but it cleaned up nicely. I know it well sell quickly, and that I’ll make a nice profit. The money will basically cover everything my ex owed me, financially. Now, once she gets her stuff out of my parents’ basement, all ties will be severed.

It’s sad that it came to this, especially since I’m friends with all of my exes, but I can’t have negative people in my life. I realized this even more after I went through Quest (which I’ll blog about later). I am my word. I choose excellence in every aspect of my life. Thus, I choose to surround myself with like-minded individuals. I choose not to bring negativity into my life.

Deep down, I feel that my ex is a good person. I had this discussion with a mutual friend about a week ago. We’ve all noticed that she’s become a very different person after moving in with her parents. Her mother has everything to do with this. Her mother has built her life on lies and pain; now she’s encouraging the same life for her daughter. They’ve lied to me (and to my parents) about financial matters from our relationship that deserved to be resolved. I don’t know why my ex refuses to break the cycle of abuse, but I feel that she could eventually gain that strength if she opens her heart. We probably could have fixed our relationship and gotten back together if my ex had listened to me instead of her mother. Honestly, why should I tell her mother how I feel about her daughter? What does it matter? I don’t care what her mother thinks; I cared about what my ex thought.

It’s water under the bridge at this point. Still, I feel that my ex would greatly benefit from attending Quest. I feel that it could open her heart and assist her in achieving her true potential in every aspect of her life. If we were on speaking terms, I’d happily give her the information- hell, I would “angel” her through the program- but I can’t see that happening right now. Maybe someday, but definitely not right now.

So, at the very least, I have the car. That’s a big step in the right direction.

…All I can say is… GEAUX SAINTS!! I knew they would win! I wore my jersey all weekend and was so excited to watch the game. To think- my city! Champions! My boys deserved this, and so did the city. The Saints really stepped it up a notch this past season. In many ways, I feel like the people of New Orleans gave them more strength. After Katrina, they needed something to rally around, something else to keep them strong. What better than their local NFL team?

The Saints didn’t draw a big crowd before, but the past few years they’ve played to a sold-out stadium. Having such a show of support from your fans has got to have a big impact.

Aside from that, I know my boys worked really hard to make this happen. The highlight of my night was seeing Drew Brees with his baby boy- beautiful. A grown man with tears of happiness in his eyes, cradling his infant son (who was wearing an adorable little Saints jersey I might add): that’s how I’ll remember this victory.

WHO DAT!

Every now and then, you’re fortunate enough to meet someone you really connect with. A friend, a lover, a partner- the connection takes many forms. Sure, you make a lot of friends and acquaintances throughout your life, but these connections are different. This is unconditional love, the ability to see right through someone and love them exactly as they are. My BFF is a great example. I learned so much just from being in her company. Even now, I put more work into keeping in touch with her than anyone else.

Where am I going with this…

During a dark time in my life, I met someone amazing. Someone who helped me learn more about myself… the type of person that I want to be… the goals that I want to achieve. I’m incredibly grateful for this connection.

Thank you for being here for me. Thank you for pushing me to excel when I just wanted to lay in bed and hide from the world. Thank you for your sense of humor, for reminding me how to smile. Thank you for the little glimpses I’m allowed into your thoughts, feelings, and memories. Thank you for reminding me that I am worthwhile, that I do have a place here, that I’m loved and wanted.

Simply put… thank you for existing. I am so happy, fortunate, and humbled to be a part of your life.